+ GIFT
+
A story from Wonderland Overdrive
planning & presented by MadHatter - all rights reserved
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~ Thanks to Kotori who checked the proof and Sarah who
betareaded the final version :)
«Your gift receiving through this body of mine, is alive so alive
Your gift shining through this body of mine, is alive so alive
Your gift... is givin'... as receiving, is receiving...»
Elisa, "Gift"
"No." he says, standing still in the corner of the room, facing the door. "No. I won't go."
Reuben deigns him with a quick, neutral glare, before continuing with his private work. "As you prefer."
A little sigh. "You… you don't understand." every word seems to have the weight of a boulder. "I… can't go. I… it's meaningless." No reply. Two turns his back, slowly, without raising his eyes. "I don't want to go and start… again…"
Reuben seems not to pay him the slightest attention. His pen dances with grace over the sheets on the desk, again, and again. As if Two wasn't in the room, facing him.
A sigh. Two's voice is trembling. "R-r… Reuben." The pen stops its dance for a moment. Reuben raises his eyes from the sheets and fixes them into Two's. There's a little hint of surprise in those grey depths. Two's voice sounds desperate, and so little…
"I just love you."
Their gazes meet.
Then Reuben lowers his gaze and says, in his perfect, cold voice, "Aren't you a little grown for that kind of… teenage crush?"
"NO!"
He raises an eyebrow. "I won't shatter your precious daydream, then…"
"No… why don't you understand? Why? This is not-"
His voice stops.
No more words.
His body is really trembling now. Rage, and fear… and a deep, cruel sadness. "This is not a lie. This is not a way to…" he laughs bitterly
"…surprise you or draw your attention to me. This is… why
don't you try to understand… this is the truth. This is how I feel."
Reuben´s eyes are cold. No surprise in them, no boredom, nothing. Cold, like the eyes of a doll.
Run away, run away, run away from those eyes, and this room, and everything. Run away and pretend this was only a joke…
Simply content yourself with his presence…
But I can't.
Two takes a deep breath. "I'm tired. I have no more strength to live that way." he raises a hand to his forehead, and rubs his eyes. "I have no more
will to live that way. If you don't need me, just… get rid of me."
"Do you think I don't need you? You're a good worker, Two."
Two sighs. "Is it only that? I'm only a good… worker, for you?"
Two cold, grey stones on him.
Two lowers his eyes. Then, he speaks as if there was no more life in his words. "Alright then. I… tender… my
resignations." He turns his back again, and moves a couple of steps closer to the door. "I'll inform The Aunt. And she'll probably kill me. And this is exactly what I want."
"I think there's no need to be so melodramatic."
A laugh.
"Perfectly suitable for the child I am, right?" He sighs. "I should say… 'I don't blame you'. It's not your fault. It was only… a dream of mine. I based my life on that dream, and now I have nothing else to care about." His voice lowers a bit. "Nothing else to care about."
He raises his hand to the door's handle.
"And you give up so easily?"
His hand stops.
"If you really… love me," and Reuben's voice lingers a little on that word, mercilessly, "why don't you fight for it?"
Two's arms drop. "Because I need… to be… loved, in return."
"So, is it just a selfish need?"
"Perhaps." He moves his head slightly towards the door, leaning his forehead on the warm surface.
"Is this your last reply?"
Two's shoulders are shaking. "Is this your last question?" he says slowly.
A little sound. Reuben leans his pen on the desk. "Come here."
Two stands still. "Come here, I said."
He turns his back again, but there are no emotions on his face. Something's broken inside of him. Two walks to Reuben's desk and stops in front of it, watching him with a perfect neutral glare.
Reuben stands up and waits a moment before slowly walking around the desk to face him. Two doesn't move. Reuben raises a hand and leans it on Two's shoulder. Two closes his eyes, but his expression doesn't change. "Then," he says, with a quiet tone in his voice.
Reuben's touch is firm.
"It happens that you… satisfy my need of interpersonal relations." He says, in his deep voice.
Two's expression doesn't change. His brows just knit a little, as if he's waiting for the final blow. A pause.
"What does this mean?"
Reuben raises his hand, with a subtle smile. He leans it on the other man's cheek, skimming over Two's skin, to his lips. Two sighs, and curls his lips down, lowering his head.
"What do you think it means?"
Two leans a hand over the other man's. It's so warm.
"Don't kid me anymore."
"You should know I never lie to anyone."
"Don't lie to ME!… I can't stand it… I just… can't…" his voice breaks up. "Don't deceive me, please. I don't… deserve it."
Then he suddenly rises the head, and stares Reuben in the eyes. He raises his
arms as well, and puts them around Reuben's shoulders, hiding his face in his chest. The hold is so tight.
"If you don't need me, kill me," he says, in a bitter voice. "But if you… care about me, don't let me go away…"
Reuben raises an arm and puts a hand gently on Two's back.
"I don't think you're going anywhere," he says.
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